What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -172

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops