What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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So you there Red?

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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The Olympics

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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