What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Justin Bieber

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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