Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

Whats white and all over my room? paint

Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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