The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

thumb_up thumb_down -22

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

thumb_up thumb_down +39

385

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops