Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Arron Glass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops