What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

Womens rights

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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