What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -25

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -97

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

thumb_up thumb_down +42

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops