how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

if you read this you are gay

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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