Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -61

if you read this you are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -171

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops