Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sonic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

thumb_up thumb_down -188

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +127

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +119

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +45

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How are you this morning?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops