What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

Whats white and all over my room? paint

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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