I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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call of duty world at war

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops