How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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