Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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170

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops