Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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hi, im sober.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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