Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

Justin Bieber

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

Simon says; "You're adopted."

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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