Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Justin Bieber

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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I'm hungry.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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banana

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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