Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -156

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +189

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

call of duty world at war

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops