Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Get in the car.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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