A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Apple.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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