Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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