There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +65

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -191

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops