Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -177

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops