Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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i like cats

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Men's Rights

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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