what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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sexual intercourse.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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