why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -189

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -191

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops