What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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385

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Justin Bieber

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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