What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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