Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops