How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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