Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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