HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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You

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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