Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Fat people.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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