why did the boy fall down? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -196

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +195

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops