What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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call of duty world at war

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Yes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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