What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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The Olympics

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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So you there Red?

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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