Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Dont look at me.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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69

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Women's Rights.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops