What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Miley Cyrus.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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