What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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