Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -177

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +217

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +77

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops