Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

thumb_up thumb_down -31

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

i hate anti-jokes ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mama is so fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops