Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +7

69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

1,984

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -177

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +214

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fags are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops