Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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banana

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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It’s dead.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A woman's opinion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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