" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a pole.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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