I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Penis.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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