Apple.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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1,984

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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