Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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69

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The Bible

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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