There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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