How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why is your face? Because.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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Apple.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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