Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Bob fell off his roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops