Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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what sucks? things that suck

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69

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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