Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops