Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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69

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops