Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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