- Anti Joke

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

Barack Obama.

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

What does 1+1 equal? 2

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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