What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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