Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

this is not an anti joke

A bar walks into a man... Wait...

Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

This would be racist to black people if they could read.

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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