Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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