How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

you lose.

Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

You're welcome!

What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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