Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Anything involving women..

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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