Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops